Satire: “Intended to do more than entertain; it tries to improve humanity and its institutions.”
During the recent banking “crisis” (Any banking crisis will do), I thought I’d create this appropriate skit, using Jimmy Stewart’s It’s A Wonderful Life as a modern day parody.
SCENE: Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey is trying to calm down the townsfolk who want to withdraw their funds from the bank.
GEORGE BAILEY: Now, now Henry, you know your money is invested in the drug trade down in Mexico.
And, and Margaret, your money is invested in the arms trade over in Dubai.
And…and… Clara, dear sweet Clara, your money is securely invested in the slave trade in both Mexico and Dubai.
Townsfolk murmur among themselves.
HENRY: I don’t care, George, or should I say, I do care, and I don’t want my money going to those no good bums.
GEORGE BAILEY: But, but, Henry, remember, we’re one big global community; a community that cares a lot about what is best for the global banking system.
Townsfolk murmur again.
HENRY: I don’t care, George! I want my 35 dollars.
GEORGE: But, but, Henry, you’re money is also invested in home mortgages. Your home, and Clara’s, and Pete up the street, and old man Cooter, and well every darn one of you. And those mortgages have been bundled into a complex highly leveraged global housing nightmare,,, er, I mean a sound family-valued investment.
HENRY: I Want My 35 Dollars !
GEORGE: W…Well, OK Henry.
George reluctantly concedes, and grabs 35 dollars from the money basket his uncle Billy is holding to pay Henry. After paying Henry, the bank suddenly starts to shake, as do all the houses in the neighborhood outside.
GEORGE: J..J..Jiminy Cricketts, everyone run for cover. I think the banking and housing system is about to collapse!!!
Panic on Main St begins…
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OH THOSE REPTILIANS !
Here’s an upcoming TV SITCOM PARODY SKETCH: (A little shape-shifting humor with canned laughter.)
FIRST SCENE: A banker father shifts out of his Reptilian skin and into his banker’s suit.He enters his home. and says,
FATHER: I’m home from my secret society meeting, dear.
He grins toward the camera while we hear sung OH THOSE REPTILIANS! with 70’s style intro music.
SECOND SCENE: Teenage kids, boy and a girl, greet their father while they are still in Reptilian attire.
FATHER: Oh Children, you will never get into Yale or Harvard dress like that!
Canned laughter follows, as they all wink at the camera to ….. OH THOSE REPTILIANS !
THIRD SCENE: The family is at the dinner table. An errant fly lands on the bowl of mash potatoes. Reflexively, the son flicks his long tongue to nab the fly.
FATHER: Bobby!
The father says sternly, glancing at Bobby’s friend, Jimmy.
FATHER: We don’t behave that way in front of guests.
Jimmy, Bobby’s friend, replies.
JIMMY: Oh, no worries, sir. My father is also a secret society member.
Jimmy proceeds to flick his tongue to nab another fly. Everybody laughs, all flick their tongues at flies, and grin to camera to …. OH THOSE REPTILIANS !
FOURTH SCENE: The father is in the backyard building a rocket ship. Neighbor peaks over the fence, says in joking manner…
NEIGHBOR: Going somewhere, neighbor?
FATHER: oh, back to Mars.
NEIGHBOR: Back to… have you gone loco!?
FATHER: Ha! Had you fooled there, Bob. Just razzing you, old man.
Neighbor and father laugh. Father then turns to audience and winks…. OH THOSE REPTILIANS !